


Someone Will Remember Us

by pauhses



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Anne Shirley - Freeform, Anne and Diana, Anne with an E - Freeform, Dianne - Freeform, Drama, F/F, Fanfiction, Gay, Questioning, Romance, Teen Romance, diana barry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-05-18 10:15:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19332508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pauhses/pseuds/pauhses
Summary: After Aunt Josephine’s soiree, Diana Barry has trouble ignoring her true feelings for her bosom friend, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert. This is the story of her journey, a journey she must take on her own. Will Diana do what’s right - as she always does - or will she follow her heart for once?(Not great at summaries, maybe give the first chapter a chance?)Anne With an E (set at the end of season 2 and further)





	1. Aunt Josephine

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time posting here, on ao3. Let’s see how it goes.  
> This is a story I started a long time ago, but never got around to finish. Now i finished it! I wanted to explore the idea of Dianne (Diana + Anne), and decided to make it from Diana’s perspective. But life’s not a dance on roses, it’s never as easy as we want it to be. Hope you enjoy!

Diana watched as Cole held Anne’s hand, spinning her under his arm like a spinning top. Sharing a laughter, they were dancing around the room, happily talking about the party. Diana simply couldn’t get her head around it. What was there to laugh about? She was still thinking about that woman in the top hat, who had raised her glass to Aunt Josephine and Aunt Gertrude, and how she had announced them as “her romantic ideal”. Romantic ideal. Diana didn’t believe what she had heard, she couldn’t, so she made sure to ask Anne what that woman had meant. Expecting denial, she was surprised by Anne’s words:  
“Oh, well, they were in love!” Anne had exclaimed excitedly, like it was as sure as the sun were to rise at dawn. Her words still echoed in Diana’s mind. Her Aunt Josephine, in love with Gertrude? She had known both of them forever, how could Diana have missed that?  
Looking back, she now noticed so many obvious things that suddenly made sense. How could she had been so oblivious?

“Oh, and Diana,” Anne sat down beside Diana in their shared bed. “Cécile Chaminade.” She continued, as her eyes glowed with excitement. “Did she inspire you to play and play and play some more?” Anne chuckled.  
Diana sat, her legs close to her stomach, with her flower crown resting below her knees, and thought back to the breathtaking performance. How Cécile’s hands had flown over the piano, like it was a part of her, and how the music had echoed over the halls and into Diana’s very soul. It had reached every corner of her mind, of her body, making her want to smile and cry at the same time.  
But the conversation that followed, when Chaminade had asked if Diana aspired to continue with her piano, of course she had replied that she might if her husband were to agree. Aunt Josephine and Cécile Chaminade had smiled, almost laughed, and told her that she could be more than a wife, more than someone’s husband. But how, Diana asked herself. How could they so easily see the future like it was made of different paths? Diana had only ever seen one path before her; how she was to marry a man and give him children. That was her very purpose in this life, the very thing she had always seen others being, and herself supposed to become. A wife.  
Truth to be told, Diana wasn’t too fond with the picture. She felt that something was terribly wrong with it. Although, it had never seemed possible to have another option and therefore she had never questioned it. But now, after this party, filled with a variety of people and personalities, and the new discovers she had made about her Aunt Josephine, there seemed to be so many options.  
Too many.  
This scared Diana. Feelings that she in an early age had realised were wrong, she could now feel ticklish the surface just beneath her skin. It felt as if they were suddenly glowing through her skin, so if someone were to look at her, they would see. But they couldn’t, they simply couldn't! No one could know, ever! Diana had always told herself to shut them down, lock them in. No one would suspect their bare existence. It was easier that way.

At this party, after being mirrored in so many people, not only living openly but doing it proud, it was like a seed had been planted in Diana’s mind. And she couldn’t seem to make it stop growing.  
Before, it had seemed impossible. The impossible was easier not to wish for. When it now had showed itself to not be impossible, but indeed possible, she found herself asking if it maybe wasn't so bad after all? What a mad thought! Diana was confused, she couldn’t store her thoughts. She needed to hear it, that it was wrong, so she knew that she had to shut it down. All of it.

“Aunt Josephine kept her lifestyle a secret. My parents certainly didn’t know.” Diana couldn’t bear to think of what they would say, if they were to know about Aunt Josephine, or about her.  
She turned to face Anne. “That… must mean it’s wrong.” She said confidently.  
Anne fell silent for a moment, which made Diana nervous because Anne rarely did run out of words. Then, she grabbed a book from the nightstand, and read out loud:

“To my Gertrude.  
Someone will remember us, I say,  
even in another time.  
Forever, you have my heart.  
Jo”

“Two women could never have children,” Diana tried desperately. “It doesn’t make sense!”  
These words had travelled Diana’s mind for as long as she had dared to think of something else than to marry a man. Like a mantra, to chase her thoughts away.  
Anne seemed disturbed. “How can you say that when such beautiful words were written from one to another?”  
“It’s unnatural, Anne!” Diana nearly shouted, starting to feel afraid. Afraid of Anne to agree, afraid of her to disagree. Diana didn’t know what she wanted.  
Suddenly, Cole spoke: “If your aunt lived her life feeling something was wrong with her, that she was… broken, defective, or unnatural…” He paused, and Diana almost felt like she saw something new in Cole’s brown eyes, something terrible and dark. Like pain. “Then one day,” he continued, “She met someone that made her realize that that wasn’t true, there was nothing wrong with her and she was… fine!” Cole locked eyes with Diana, and she almost felt ashamed, like she had insulted him. “Shouldn’t we be happy for her?” Cole fell silent.  
“I think it’s spectacular.” Anne declared her opinion, as always. Diana’s sight fell and stuck on Anne. Her whole freckled face cracked up in a wide smile, and her great blue eyes shone like an endless ocean. Anne turned around, her fiery red hair following the movement. Their eyes met. 

Diana wanted Anne’s and Cole’s words to be true, she wanted to believe her friends. But it was hard to believe something, that Diana had lived her whole life thinking - being told - was wrong. Anne was the first person Diana ever had known to question things that simply just were the way they were. That just made it all harder, coming from Anne. Could it be so wrong then, Diana dared to question. If Anne, the very girl who made Diana question this whole wife-husband picture, think it’s not a problem: then what is the problem?  
“There’s so much more possibility.” Anne finally said, and with a chuckle she looked at Cole who smiled as well.


	2. An Angel and a Demon

Diana had tried to forget all about the soiree, but it was as if Anne - with her supporting words about Aunt Josephine and Gertrude - had lit a fire in Diana. A peculiar flame, that only seemed to grow stronger if you tried to not pay any attention to it.  
Now the memories were only harder to ignore, since Diana found herself in the same house where it all had happened.  
Diana and her friends had come to Aunt Josephine’s house for help: they wanted to show the whole town of Avonlea what a great teacher Ms Stacy really was.

While Diana collected light bulbs from different lamps, Aunt Josephine came up to her with some money.  
”I’m giving you children train fare to get home. You’ve had enough adventure for one day.” She said with a smile.  
Diana thanked for the money, and looked at her.  
”You won’t tell mother and father about all this, will you?” Diana asked, a little worried.  
”And reduce your opportunities for other enriching adventures?” Aunt Josephine came closer to Diana, and said with a small grin:  
”Never.”  
Diana chuckled. Aunt Josephine often surprised, she was no aunt out of the ordinary. Diana had always known this, even before the things revealed at her party. Josephine Barry never really cared what others thought or expected of her, but rather found her own way of doing things. Diana always enjoyed visits at her Aunt Josephine - you never knew what was to happen.

Diana noticed that Aunt Josephine was looking at Cole, who was admiring a piece of heart. The look in her aunt’s eyes made her believe that Aunt Josephine somehow felt Cole’s pain. But she couldn’t explain it. It was like they had a secret understanding between them since the party, a code only the two of them could decipher.  
”Cole’s gone through so much.” Diana said, looking at her aunt. ”Were you able to comfort him?”  
Diana was curious. She had noticed that Cole seemed more colourful after the party, more bright. He used to always look so grey, in a way.  
”He knows I understand him, and support him.” Aunt Josephine assured.

Diana fell silent, hesitating. Part of her wanted Aunt Josephine to admit that she indeed had lived poorly. Admit that what Gertrude and she had done - what they had been - was wrong.  
But Diana couldn’t acknowledge that Anne’s and Cole’s words still echoed her mind. And as she now saw Aunt Josephine stand before her, tall as ever, she didn’t think of her as ”one of them”, or a sinner. She couldn’t. This was her aunt, who she had always loved. And does love, still.  
Diana almost felt ashamed of her thinking. Even though a part of her believed - or had been taught to believe - that she was right to think it was wrong, she had to admit to herself that she wanted to be wrong. Oh, how she wanted to be wrong. Looking at Aunt Josephine, she truly wondered how she was able to be so happy, stand so proud, being what she was.  
”I know I… disappointed you.” Diana began, as Aunt Josephine turned to face her. ”At your soiree.”  
Aunt Josephine seemed troubled. ”I was under the impression that I’d disappointed you.”  
”No, it’s just…”  
Diana knew exactly what she wanted to say, what she wanted to believe was true. But she didn’t dare to admit it, not even to herself. She couldn’t!  
”At the time, I didn’t know how much I didn’t know.”  
”And now?” Aunt Josephine tried.  
There was so much Diana wanted to say, but didn’t dare too. Her whole life she had believed in a husband and a wife as the only option and that imagining anything else was wrong. The ideas had been easier to shut down before, when she didn’t know of anyone else being like her.  
But now, with all the new impressions, the feelings demanded to be heard, to be felt. Diana had no idea she could feel this much. No words would be able to explain what she felt, nor everything that was going through her mind.  
But if she could talk to anyone about all this, it must be Aunt Josephine.

Diana gave Aunt Josephine a desperate hug.  
”I’m sorry.” Diana said, keeping her in a hug. ”My thinking was narrow.”  
As Diana let go of her aunt,she felt her heart beat rapidly against her chest.  
There. She had said it.  
Ever since the soiree, Diana had been split apart; an angel and a demon, constantly screaming at each other, fighting for Diana’s attention. One believed that love could be shared between two women, likewise the love between a man and a woman, while the other insisted that it was absurdly wrong. Problem was, Diana couldn’t decide which opinion that belonged to the angel, and which belonged to the demon.  
Diana faced Aunt Josephine and saw gratitude in her face. This encouraged her to continue, to believe that she listened to the angel and not the demon.  
”I understand so much more now.”  
Aunt Josephine replied with a wide smile. ”Oh.” She happily let out. ”Life is short and the world is wide, dear heart.” Aunt Josephine said, and planted a kiss on Diana's forehead.  
She put her hand on Diana’s cheek, and Diana couldn’t help but let out a breath with a little laugh.

Even though the angel and the demon still was shouting at one and another, she felt comforted by her Aunt Josephine. She seemed to be fine, being what she was. Diana still had a long way to go, but now she almost dared to hope - believe - that she would be fine too. Without having to hide who she is, who she loves.  
For a minute, the devil silenced.  
For a minute, she believed it was the angel who assured Diana that she would be okay, being like Aunt Josephine.


	3. The Truth

“Diana!”  
Diana stood up, waving back at Anne. Anne was running towards her, and finally reaching Diana she had to bend down to catch her breath.  
“I’m so sorry I’m late, I was talking to Jerry and lost track of time.”  
“As one does.” Diana agreed, unable to resist a smile. “Don’t worry about it Anne.”  
Anne frowned. Replacing her hands from her knees to her midriff, she looked at the ground where the tree that marked their meeting spot peacefully stood.  
“Were you, sitting?” Anne asked Diana, suspicious as she saw the dirty ground.  
“Daydreaming, in fact.” Diana corrected. “I was looking at the clouds. How can you not, on a day like this?”  
Anne was taken aback.  
“Look!” Diana said, as she pointed at a cloud. “That one looks like a bird.”  
But Anne didn’t look at the clouds, she had noticed Diana’s dress. Her dress was blue like the sky, but lacked the white puffy clouds that decorated the sky above them. Instead, the dress’s sky had smudged brown clouds of dirt.  
“Your dress!” Anne exclaimed with a gasp.  
“Oh, a little dirt never hurt a soul, has it?” Diana answered unbothered, looking at her ruined dress with a small smile.  
Anne’s chin dropped a little, and she stood quiet for a moment. Then she broke inte a smile, and replied;  
“I believe it hasn’t. A little childish playfulness only enriched the soul, and what is more playful and childlike than rolling around in the dirt?”  
Diana giggled and agreed.  
“Shall we?” She said, raising her arm in an invitation. Anne crooked it with hers and chuckled:  
“We shall.”

The rest of the way to school the girls skipped their way forwards, laughing and singing. Anne had been surprised by Diana’s sudden jolly mood, but she decided not to question it. It was rather infectious and she did see no reason to ask why she was so happy - instead she joined in and encouraged it. Diana was glad. If Anne had asked her why she was so happy all of a sudden, she wouldn’t know what to say. The reason was simply Anne, but she didn’t dare to tell her that of course.  
For the past few days, Diana had let herself bit for bit love Anne. The meeting with Aunt Josephine had encouraged her, for a moment there she had felt okay and she held onto that feeling like it was her newborn baby. Sometimes she’d admit it to herself and other times, when in doubt, she simply told herself that it wasn’t odd to love a good friend.  
This had put Diana in a good mood. She noticed that she was being more imaginative and childish than before - the sides Anne always encouraged.

At the school, Gilbert blythe stood by the door, resting his back against the school’s facade. When he saw Anne and Diana skipping their way forwards he flew up and quickly held up the door for the girls. Diana went inside and thanked him with a smile. Anne walked behind her.  
“It was kind of you to ask me to come to Sebastian’s wedding.”  
Anne had come to a sudden halt, turning to face Gilbert.  
“I had a good time.”  
Gilbert’s face shone up in a wide grin.  
“Bash wanted you there. And me too, of course.” He quickly added, his cheeks turning slightly pink. Anne put on a sly smile.  
“We have a test in biology this Thursday,” she began. “Think you can handle that, doctor?”  
Gilbert smiled.  
“I think I can. But to be on the safe side maybe you can help me, you know, be my teacher?” Gilbert added boldly with a twinkle in his eyes.  
Diana didn’t know why they called the other “doctor” and “teacher”, nevertheless she had never understood their weird rivalry. She expected Anne to tell Gilbert off, but instead Anne surprised Diana.  
“Maybe I can.” Anne said with a smile and left Gilbert at the door.  
Gilbert’s chin dropped slightly, before he too left the door with a satisfied smile. Anne didn’t say a word to Diana.  
Diana simply shook her head. But when she saw Anne trying to hide a little smirk, it hit her.  
Just because Diana was like she was didn’t mean Anne was.  
Diana felt her heart sink like a stone in her chest. Of course. How could she have been so stupid? Gilbert liked Anne, everyone knew that. And Diana had always been certain that Anne liked him back but just didn’t want to admit it. She even used to tease Anne about liking Gilbert! She had forgotten all about that. Anne did love Diana, she had said so herself. But she had meant as a friend. Had Diana really tried to fool herself otherwise? Anne would never, ever love Diana as Diana loved Anne.  
“Come on Diana, class is about to start!” Anne’s voice sounded distant.  
“Coming.” She replied with a weak voice.  
Diana could have sworn that she had heard something - felt something - break in her chest.

It was difficult to focus on Ms Stacy’s lesson. Diana couldn’t stop punishing herself by thinking about how stupid she’d been, fooling herself that she and Anne could build a future together. Perhaps, without even admitting it to herself, she had imagined the two of them running away. Somewhere hidden from the rest of the world, where Diana would not have to worry about what everyone else thought or did. She could simply love Anne in peace, for she knew Anne wouldn’t mind. She hadn’t minded Aunt Josephine and Gretrude.  
But the thought that Anne wasn’t like her had never crossed Diana’s mind. Maybe seeing Anne so certainly accepting about the whole Aunt Josephine and Gertrude thing had led Djana to believe that Anne was not totally unfamiliar with those feelings. How stupid it seemed now. Of course Anne was like everyone else.  
Diana suddenly felt like her secret burned on her skin, so everyone could see it. She wouldn’t be too surprised if “I LOVE ANNE” appeared in big, burning red letters on her forehead for everyone to read. Unconsciously, her hand flew up to cover her forehead. Diana’s thoughts felt loud, like they were screaming, like it wasn’t impossible for someone to hear what she was thinking. She looked down on her knees.

“Diana, are you not feeling well?”  
Ms Stacy put a hand on Diana’s shoulder, taking her back to reality. Diana jumped, and looked around. Ms Stacy had apparently put the students to work while Diana had been lost in thoughts. Diana’s breathing was quick.  
“Oh, uhm…” She could feel everyone’s eyes on her, and she was starting to sweat. “In fact, I’m not feeling to well Ms Stacy.” Diana coughed, hoping it would convince Ms Stacy.  
Ms Stacy looked concerned but understanding.  
“You don’t look too well, either. I’ll send you home with a note, and you get some rest, okay?”  
“Okay.” Diana clumsily gathered her books and half finished notes.  
Ms Stacy turned to the class.  
“Could someone be so kind and go by Diana’s house this afternoon to give her some things from school?”  
“I can!” Anne volunteered.  
“Great, thank you Anne.” Ms Stacy turned to Diana again. “Anne will bring you books and notes, don’t worry about missing out. Just get some rest, and hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow.” She smiled at Diana, and Diana attempted a weak smile in response before she hurried off. She avoided eye contact, especially with Anne.

“Diana darling, Anne is at the door with some school work.”  
Mrs. Barry appeared in the door to Diana’s room. Diana felt a little bad for going home from school, but it wasn’t a complete lie she told - she wasn’t feeling well. She didn’t feel very sick either, she just felt… pain.  
“Tell her thanks from me.”  
Mrs. Barry sighed.  
“I know you’re not feeling well dear, but where are your manners? Can’t you go and tell her yourself? It’s good to get up from your bed now and then, even if you’re sick.”  
Diana felt herself tearing up. She could not take her mothers talk about manners right now, and she especially couldn’t face Anne. Anne would know, she was too clever. She would see through her, and Diana knew she’d be disgusted. And she would start to take distance and avoid her. Diana didn’t want that.  
“Tell her thanks from me, please.” Diana repeated.  
She could sense her mother rolling her eyes at her, but she didn’t care. Mrs. Barry turned around and Diana heard the sound of her steps decrease. She rolled around in bed, burying her head in her fluffy white pillow before falling asleep.


	4. It’s Better This Way

Diana stayed home from school the following day as well. Anne came to her house once again to check on her best friend and give her some things from school. Diana still didn’t greet her.  
Mrs. Barry worried for her daughter, wondering what was wrong with her. Diana said that she didn’t have a headache, she didn’t have a fever or the flu, nor was she vomiting. But even Mrs. Barry noticed that her daughter looked weak - her cheeks had lost their pink shade, and her eyes had lost their warm colour. She wasn’t well, that Mrs. Barry was sure of. So she did her motherly routine, and brought Diana tea with lots of honey and made sure that her daughter kept warmth. But neither could mend a broken heart.

After two days of sickness Diana decided it was time to go back to school. She didn’t feel any better, but again she didn’t feel very sick either. Might as well go to school, she thought. Anne had not received a notice about Diana’s return. Diana chose to take another way to school that day in an attempt to avoid her.  
Finally reaching the school, Diana felt the worried pain grow in her chest as she got closer to the building. It felt like the world around her was slow, very slow, while Diana’s heart and lungs struggled to beat normally as she felt like the surrounding rib cage with its bones only grew smaller. With less space, her heart and lungs started to beat quicker and smaller. Her breaths were quick and rapid but didn’t seem to capture any air. She felt dizzy.

In the hall Diana found the other girls happily chattering at Ruby’s bench. Ruby spotted her first, and shouted Diana’s name as she waved back big at her. Diana managed a smile as the girls walked up to her. As Anne walked up to her.   
Diana found a sudden interest in her fingers, studying different moles she’d always had.  
“Diana, are you feeling any better?” Glenna asked.  
“Why would she be in school if she was still feeling ill?” Josie sneered.  
“I’m feeling better Glenna, thanks.” Diana lied.  
“Oh, I’m glad!” Anne broke into a wide smile. “We have so much to catch up on! I know it’s only been two days but you would not believe what…”  
“Anne!” Diana raised her voice, interrupting her.  
Anne silenced, as Diana’s cheeks grew ponk. “Sorry, I, I still have a bit of a headache. Could we do it another time maybe?”  
“Oh. Yes, of course.” Anne said, clearly discouraged.  
Diana felt saddened, although she doubted that the black mole that seemed to have settled down in her heart could bring her any more pain than it already did. I’m protecting Anne, she told herself. She wouldn’t want to be with me anyways, if she knew. It’s better this way, Diana assured herself, as she went to sit by Ruby. Usually she sat by Anne, but now she simply couldn’t.

The days passed by, but Diana barely noticed - every day felt the same, hopeless grey. She went to school, still avoiding Anne. Since it was Diana who had brought Anne into the group, the other girls also started to avoid Anne when they noticed Diana did. Diana didn’t like it one bit, but what other option did she have? I’m protecting Anne, she repeated like a mantra, I’m protecting her.  
The girls spending less time with Anne had resulted in Anne spending more and more time with Cole, and to everyone’s surprise; Gilbert as well. Anne and Gilbert seemed to be closer than ever, or maybe it was just Diana who wouldn’t admit her jealousy.

“Diana, could I talk to you!” Ms Stacy shouted after her one day after school, when the flood of students began to leave the building at the sound of the bell.  
Diana nodded, and walked up to her teacher as the building grew empty of people.  
“I have to say that I’ve noticed your work is slacking.” Ms Stacy sighed. “You seem distracted lately.”  
Diana didn't know what to answer to that.  
“Is it Anne?” Ms Stacy asked, tilting her head.  
Diana froze. Her heart skipped a beat.  
“W-, What?”  
“I’ve noticed you two girls have grown more distant lately. Normally I wouldn’t interfere but I suspect it’s affecting your school work. And from my perspective, it seems like neither of you are very happy about it.”  
Diana looked down at the floor, wondering what her chances were of being able to melt right now and disappear through the cracks in the wooden floor.  
“Have you had a fight? If I were you I would talk to her, you wouldn’t want to lose a good friend like that.”  
Don’t you think I know that, Diana thought to herself. She didn’t want to lose Anne, but she had to, for both’s sake.  
“OkaythanksI’llthinkaboutit.” Diana mumbled quickly under her breath, before walking out of the room with a quick pace. She ignored Ms Stacy shouting after her. Ms Stacy wouldn’t want to help if she knew what Diana’s situation was. She too would be disgusted, and maybe throw her out of school. It’s better this way, Diana thought.


	5. Ruby Acts Cupid

It was a beautiful day in the town of Avonlea. The sun stood high on a baby blue sky, not a single cloud troubling it to distribute its light. Although Diana, who sat by the small river beside the school building, seemed to have her head lost in a stormy, grey cloud. They were worried for her, Diana knew it. Ms Stacy had talked to her parents and her parents had complained about their concerned to other parents of Diana’s classmates. Mrs. and Mr. Barry explained how she didn’t speak to them anymore, how she’d lost her appetite and how she spent most of her time by herself locked in her room. Other parents simply smiled and said that it sounded like they described the regular teenager, and suggested that Diana had finally reached her rebellious stage. But Diana’s parents were not convinced. They claimed that they knew Diana and that Diana simply wasn’t herself anymore, she had lost her spirit. They were right, Diana thought. But if they knew who Diana was, they would be happy knowing that Diana was trying to figure out how to not be herself, how to shut down feelings. It seemed impossible.

”Hi.”  
Diana looked up and saw Charlie Sloane of all people. He was weighing himself on his toes back and forth, his hands pocketed in his pants. He seemed nervous, and keen to avoid Diana’s eyes. However, she didn’t take any notice of that.  
”Oh,” she said, noticeably surprised.  
Charlie and Diana seldom spoke to one another outside the classroom, and when they did speak to each other they were always in their groups - the girls and the boys. Diana didn’t recall the two of them ever being alone with each other, therefore she was surprised by Charlie’s approach.  
”Hi Charlie.”  
”Can I sit?”  
”Sure, go ahead.”  
Diana returned her sight to the river, following its movement, as Charlie sat down on the grass beside her.  
”What, what are you doing?” Charlie asked. Diana didn’t know he stammered. She looked over at him, but he was studying his feet.  
”Uhm, not anything really I suppose. Just sitting here, watching the river.”  
”Cool.” He replied.  
Diana noticed that he seemed tense. She peeked at him to see if she could figure out why, and he was apparently staring at her, for their eyes met. Charlie smiled at her, and Diana returned a weak smile (anything else would be rude, after all - Diana tried to stay polite in her state of sorrow).  
He leaned in then, and before she knew it Diana felt Charlie’s lips on hers. She raised her eyebrows, surprised. It was an innocent kiss, his lips were soft against hers. For a moment Diana forgot herself, and simply let it happen.

Suddenly reality caught up with her. Diana felt confused and uncomfortable, and she pushed away Charlie; harder than she had intended to. She saw how he fell down to the hard ground in slow motion, watched as his head hit a stone by the river.  
”Ouch!” Charlie exclaimed, as he rubbed his head where the stone had hit him.  
”Sorry!” Diana’s hands flew up to cover her mouth. ”Ih Charlie, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”  
”Yeah…” Charlie said slowly, still rubbing his head. ”I’m okay, no worries.”  
He got up, and Diana noticed his clothes were dirty.  
”Oh no, you’re all dirty!” Diana noted, and without really thinking she got up and started brushing his clothes off. When she realised what she was doing, Diana turned pink and immediately stopped. She remembered then what Charlie had done.  
”What were you doing!” Diana suddenly screamed, surprising herself.  
”What?” Charlie asked, confused.  
”You, you tried to, well—” Diana felt her cheeks grow hot. ”You kissed me!” She finally said.  
Charlie turned red too.  
”Well, yeah.”  
Diana opened her mouth, but found no words.  
”But, but why?” Diana asked.  
”Because I like you!” Charlie said, more to the ground than to Diana. She wondered if he sounded more mad or embarrassed.  
A silence grew between them. They stood there for a while, neither knowing what to say, before Charlie mumbled:  
”Frankly, I’d heard that you liked me too.”  
Diana was taken aback.  
”Who told you that?” She exclaimed in surprise.  
Charlie kicked a stone into the river and said nothing, but he didn’t have too. For Diana had finally noticed the girls — Ruby, Josie, Jane and Glenna — in the window, excitedly following the drama outside. Of course, Diana thought. She buried her face in her hands. Diana quickly apologised once more to Charlie, before she ran away.

After wandering around in the forest for some time (Diana didn’t know where to go) she decided it was time to go home. In the hallway she found her parents waiting for her.  
”Diana!” Mrs. Barry said, sounding upset. ”Where have you been?”  
”School.” Diana said. After all, it wasn’t a lie.  
Mr. Barry sighed. ”Diana, your teacher was here. She’s concerned you know. She told us that you had run away from school, after you got into a fight with a boy?”  
”I didn’t get into a fight.” Diana assured.  
”That’s what the students told your teacher.”  
”Do you believe it?” Diana tested her parents.  
Her mother sighed, and out her hands on Diana’s shoulders.  
”Honey, we don’t want to believe it, but we don’t know what to believe with you anymore!”  
”You’re not yourself lately”, her father agreed. ”We’re just worried Diana.”  
”If inly I wasn’t like me.” Diana mumbled under her breath.  
”What’s that?” Mrs. Barry asked.  
”Nothing!” Diana sang, seizing the opportunity and running up the stairs to her room. As she slammed the door behind her, she sank down to the floor, closing her eyes. She wondered if she sat still enough, and if she held her breath, would the world stop spinning just for a little while?  
Birds sang outside the window. If only she was a bird, Diana thought to herself. Then she could jump out the window, and fly far, far away. Diana smiled to herself. That’s something she could imagine Anne dreaming about.


	6. Diana’s Crush

”Diana!”  
Diana sat gloomily by herself inside. The other children were out playing in the sun, making use of the break from school. Ruby entered the classroom. Diana didn’t meet her eyes.  
”Diana, we’re worried sick for you!” Ruby pleaded. ”Do tell me what’s going on! You’re not yourself lately!”  
Diana couldn't resist letting out a little laugh. She had given up counting the times she’d heard those words. But Diana only thrived on them, it meant that she was succeeding. She didn’t want to be herself, she couldn’t be.  
”Anne is worried too, you know.” Ruby continued. ”You haven’t talked for a while.”  
Diana’s heart sann. Anne was still an open wound in her heart, Diana hadn’t figured out how to get it to stop bleeding. Ignoring it was her best option.  
”And I’m sorry about Charlie, Diana!” Ruby said after a moment of silence. ”But I was sure you liked him!”

She wasn’t totally wrong. Diana used to like Charlie, or at least she believed she did. He was a charming guy, why wouldn’t Diana like him?  
If only all this had happened before the soiree. Maybe she would’ve been thrilled by Charlie’s kiss. Maybe she would have a boyfriend now! Diana sighed. Everything was easier before. You befriended girls and liked boys. An easy guide, Diana had thought so herself. Therefore she had loved Anne as a friend, and Charlie had been her crush. There had simply been no other way. How could she go back to that thinking now? Was it even possible?

”I don’t get why you don’t like Charlie.” Ruby thought out loud. ”He’d good looking, charming, funny… and he liked you!” Ruby added, like that settled it. Then she shone up.  
”Ohh…” A grin grew on Ruby’s face, her eyes twinkling.  
Diana finally glanced over at Ruby, curious. She giggled, and poked Diana’s arm lightly.  
”There’s someone else you like!”  
Diana avoided eye contact again, feeling her cheeks grow hot. ”Stop it Ruby.”  
”There is, look, you’re blushing!” She announced excitedly. ”Who is it? Tell me, Diana! Tellmetellmetellme!”  
”IT’S ANNE!” Diana shouted in pure exasperation.  
Silence.  
Diana’s hands flew up to cover her mouth. Did she just, confess?  
”What do you mean?” Ruby smiled insecurely. ”Of course you like Anne, I mean, you’re best friends!”  
”Nononono…” Diana said under her breath as she buried her face in her hands.  
What had she done? It had just slipped out of her, simply because Ruby had been annoying. How stupid, how incredibly foolish she was! She couldn’t bare to look at Ruby, to see the disgust that she surely felt in her face.  
But of course Diana had silently suffered, bursting to tell someone, but she had had no choice. It was disgusting! It was against nature! It was unnatural! She blamed no one for thinking so, for she thought so herself. At least, part of her did. And she had to listen to that part - it was the only possible way to make the feelings go away, her only chance to live a normal life, to find a man and be his wife.  
”Oh.” Was all Ruby said. ”Oh.” She repeated.  
”You mustn’t tell anyone!” Diana suddenly became desperate, desperate by fear. ”No one can now! Do you understand Ruby?”  
Ruby was silent.  
”Ruby!” Diana nearly shouted. She was tearing up, and she hated herself. Hated hated hated.  
”I, I understand.”  
”I, this isn’t me, Ruby.” Diana felt a need to explain herself. ”I’m trying to be better.”  
Ruby nodded weakly.  
”I’m sorry.”  
Diana didn't know why she was apologising, but it felt right. Or, nothing felt right. She didn’t know anymore.  
Ruby nodded again. ”I’m going outside.” She announced, and stood up. ”Outside.” She repeated, before finally going outside.

Diana felt like running away. She wanted to flee her body and all that she was feeling, but she couldn’t. So she just sat there.  
Outside the others were playing like everything was normal. Diana got an urge to open the windows and shout out that nothing was normal, and nothing would ever be normal again!  
She didn’t.  
Outside the window she saw Charlie sitting by the river. Where it had happened, Diana thought. She felt herself cringe, thinking back to it. Maybe she should apologise again.

”Hi.”  
Charlie looked up, surprised as he saw Diana.  
”Can I sit?” She asked.  
He nodded. Diana sat down beside him, pretty close.  
”Does it still hurt?” She nodded towards his head. He smiled.  
”Nah, not that much.”  
”Charlie, again, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking!”  
”It’s better than a slate across the face.” Charlie chuckled.  
Diana smiled at the memory of Anne hitting Gilbert Blythe with a slate across his face. Although the memory made her smile, she felt an ache in her chest. Anne, she thought.  
”Yeah, I suppose it is.”  
They sat there in silence. Diana’s fingers almost touched Charlie’s. She looked up at him. He was a good guy. He made her laugh, he was a gentleman, and Diana would even admit he was rather good looking. Didn’t she like him after all? What really was there not to like?  
”Hey, you know what?” Diana said.  
Charlie meet her eyes. ”What?”  
”I like you too Charlie.”  
His face shone up, though he tried to be subtle.  
”You, you do?”  
”I do,” Diana smiled. ”I was just, erhm, taken aback by the kiss.”  
”Oh, sorry.” Charlie blushed.  
”That’s okay. I overreacted.”  
”That’s okay too.” Charlie smiled. He couldn’t seem to wipe off that smile, Diana noted. It seemed to be glued to his face.  
”So, what now?” Charlie wondered.  
”I don’t know.” Diana admitted.  
What now. Perhaps this is the answer, Diana thought. Maybe all she had to do, was get herself out there. Find the right guy. The kiss with Charlie hadn’t been that bad, after all. Maybe Diana was simply overthinking. Maybe dating Charlie would make Ruby forget all about Anne and her. Maybe she could be happy with Charlie, fool everyone that she’s been lovesick (for Charlie) all this time.  
Maybe she could even fool herself.  
Diana smiled at Charlie. ”Maybe we could find out?”


	7. The Rumour

”Diana!”  
”Yes, mother?”  
”Charlie’s waiting for you dear! Again.”  
Mrs. Barry added that last word to herself, with a little smile. Every morning for the past week Charlie, a boy from Diana’s class, had waited outside the Barry’s to walk Diana to school.  
If Mrs. Barry tried to mention it to Diana, she brushed it off and turned pink. That was answer enough to Mrs. Barry. Why, she thought, my little girl had finally gone off and found herself a boyfriend!   
Seeing their children grow up can be scary and even sad for parents, but Mrs. Barry couldn’t resist being happy for Diana, who seemed less blue. She’d simply been lovesick all this time! How had she not thought of that?  
She watched as Diana jogged outside to Charlie, who greeted her with a big smile, and Mrs. Barry smiled to herself - it was so sweet, the way he looked at Diana. Mr. Barry, who was reading today’s paper whilst enjoying his morning cup of tea, raised an eyebrow at his unusually jolly wife.  
”Do tell me”, he straightened out the paper in his hand. ”What is it that have made you so happy these past days, dear?”  
Mrs. Barry was happily humming as she embellished the flowers that adorned the little table.  
”Oh, William,'' she answered. ”I’m simply glad to see our daughter happy again.

Diana tried her very best to be happy with charlie. The theoretical part was flawless - he made her laugh, he was very charming and such a gentleman. Diana would even admit he was cute, seeming so happy to be with Diana.  
But when it came to the practical, the relationship failed. Kissing him wasn’t too bad, it just got boring after a while. And part of Diana knew of course that Diana didn’t really like Charlie in that way. But she was determined to silence that part.  
And still she carried that weird empty feeling within her. It seemed like it had settled down to stay. Diana was bewildered. She didn't know what to do for that feeling to go away - and she was terrified that it might only grow bigger, until one day when it would finally swallow her whole.  
Charlie was happy though, and everyone around her who had been worried sick now seemed pleased.  
So Diana kept up the act.  
No one seemed to notice that she still wasn’t whole. Maybe over time she would forget that it was an act and fool herself too.

”I’m just gonna go over there and talk to the guys for a bit.” Charlie said to Diana as they’d hung off their coats and bags in the school’s corridor.  
”Okay.” Diana answered with a small smile.  
Charlie gave her a quick kiss before he jogged off to join the others. Unconsciously, Diana wiped her mouth off on her long sleeved dress’s arm.  
As she fumbled with her books, she overheard Josie talking to the other girls.  
”I just don’t get why Diana’s with Charlie!”  
Diana usually didn’t eavesdrop - since it’s rude - but hearing Josie mention her name made her curious to keep listening. Josie wasn’t exactly talking in what you would call a hushed tone either.  
”I mean, it’s only rude to lead him on like that!”  
Glenna asked the question Diana was thinking:  
”What do you mean, Josie?”  
”I mean since she’s in love with Anne.” Josie sneered back at her.  
Diana’s heart stopped, and she froze in her movement.  
”That can’t be true though,” Jane noted. ”I mean, it’s Diana. She isn’t like that, she can’t be. Can she?” She added, suddenly insecure.  
”Well, Ruby said that Diana had said so to her.” Josie explained matter of factly. Ruby didn’t comment.  
”Why would Ruby, or Diana for that matter, lie about something like that?” Josie continued. ”I mean, it’s not something you just go around telling people for fun sake! It’s illegal, and disgusting too.” Josie sighed sympathetically, and ended her monologue with:  
”Poor Charlie, having to kiss that mouth of hers!”

Diana stared at the girls, completely shocked. Josie kept talking, oblivious to Diana overhearing her while the other girls had noticed her and looked at Diana with frightened looks. Ruby looked small.  
Diana had stood petrified, holding her breath. Her heart was now racing, the beats growing louder than anything else. She felt as if it might explode, leaving her chest as the empty hole it already felt like. She had to get out of here.  
With her hands shaking terribly, she did her best to put on her coat and gather her things before quickly leaving the building.  
”Diana!” Ruby called after her. She was jogging to keep up with Diana’s rapid pace. ”Diana, I’m sorry!”  
Diana abruptly stopped, making a quick turn that resulted in Ruby almost running into her.  
”Are you?” diana said, louder than she had intended to. Her voice was shaking terribly, but she was filled with a sudden rage.  
”Are you really sorry, Ruby?”  
Ruby was speechless. Her mouth formed a small ’o’.  
”Because I don’t think you are.” Diana’s brown eyes narrowed, and turned black. ”I don't think you care for me anymore!”  
Diana’s shouts had attracted everyone’s attention, but Diana didn’t care. She felt unattached to herself, she felt like she was floating outside of her body, watching all this happen from afat. She wasn’t there, this wasn’t happening to her.  
”Diana…” Ruby began with tears in her eyes, but Diana interrupted her.  
”No, Ruby! I mean, why should you? Why should anyone care for someone like me?”  
Diana felt tears burning just beneath her eyelids, teasing her. She was terrified, her voice and body were still shaking. ”I’m a freak!” She laughed. A horrible, pained laugh. ”And now everyone knows!” Diana gestured dramatically at the crowd that had gathered around the scene. ”Everyone knows.” She repeated.  
And suddenly, it hit her.

Everyone knows.

Diana’s heart sank. An icy feeling ran down her spine, and she was sweating. The world around her was put on mute as her gaze turned blurry and she started taking quick, small breaths. Had Diana really been so stupid, believeing that this was something that would just be forgotten, something that would never come out? That Ruby wouldn’t tell someone? Of course she would, it was disgusting and illegal and wrong! Diana had been wrong to trust Ruby with this, to burden her with it. Poor Ruby.

Through the tears that were now streaming down her face, Diana saw Charlie. She saw the confusion and hurt in his eyes, and Diana felt disgusting. She felt small, like and insect or a bug that people easily could step on since it was simply disgusting, its life worth nothing.  
Diana thought to herself how she was a freak, she was wrong and maybe unfixable. It was like she saw herself from the other’s eyes - or at least what she believed they saw. And she didn’t like what she saw. No one deserves to be around someone like me, Diana thought. I’m just not worth it.

Diana had lost sense of what was going on around her, it was like she had tripped and lost herself into a dark hole, and she just kept falling and falling.  
Diana felt a hand on her shoulder, a hand that probably belonged to Ms Stacy. Whoever’s it was, she shrugged it off and ran away. Ran, ran, ran. She was running until her legs burned, until her lungs begged her to stop. She sank down to the ground then, and cried.


	8. Two Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next to last chapter! Heads up!

After a while Diana went home. She flew past the hall and up the stairs to shut herself into her room.  
”Diana?” Mrs. Barry knocked carefully on Diana’s door. ”Diana, what’s wrong?”  
”Go away!” Diana cried.  
Mrs. Barry was taken aback. Just this morning, Diana had been happier than ever!  
She suspected that a lovers quarrel had taken place. Mrs. Barry sighed, feeling sorry for her daughter. Love sure is hard. But she knew Diana wouldn’t be reasonable in this state, so she decided to come back later, when Diana would be all cried out and she’d have gotten a little more time to process whatever it was that had happened.  
Diana heard the sounds of her mother’s steps die away. She buried her face in her hands and collapsed in her bed. She tried to scream into one of her pillows, but the sound that emerged from her lips was pathetic. Instead, she cried. For every tear it became harder to breathe. Diana thought it would never stop.  
Finally she tired herself out, and fell asleep.

Later that day, when Mrs. Barry paid yet another visit to her daughter, she didn’t bother to knock.  
The door flew up, waking Diana, and she stormed into the room.  
Diana, who had just woken up, was confused for a moment. Mrs. Barry stood tense, arms crossed, and she seemed to have something on her heart. Something that seemed impossible to express, since she simply stood there, silent, while she repeatedly opened and closed her mouth. But before Diana could guess what her mother had on her heart, Mrs. Barry spoke.  
”Tell me.”  
”Tell you what?” Diana asked sleepily.  
”Tell me it isn’t true.” Mrs. Barry’s voice was shaking. Diana still didn’t really comprehend what her mother was getting at. ”Tell me, Diana!” She nearly screamed. In pure desperation Mrs. Barry grabbed her daughter’s shoulders and shook her lightly, as if she could shake it out of her. ”What everyone is saying about you, tell me it isn’t true!”  
The anger in Mrs. Barry’s voice almost seemed like a pretence to her real feelings - Diana saw in her eyes that she was sad. Hurt.  
Her hands captured Diana’s face, each hand placed on one cheek, that were swollen and red from crying.  
Their eyes locked. An intense silence grew louder between them. Diana felt a tear falling down her cheek, touching her mother’s hand.

”I can’t.”

Diana’s voice was quieter than a whisper. But Mrs. Barry heard.  
She held onto Diana for a little longer, fixed on her eyes. It was as if she was examining her, looking for some kind of proof that Diana was lying. She found none.  
Diana’s cheeks were sweaty when her mother finally let go of her. She kept looking at her, with saddened eyes, but Mrs. Barry looked anywhere but Diana. Her mouth fell open and closed. Open, and closed again. Not a single sound came out. Diana saw how she wiped her hands on her dress' skirt before she left the room.  
Diana couldn’t, she didn’t want to think or feel anything at all right now. Instead she embraced the unconsciousness, and fell back asleep.

After a while Diana had to give in to her growling stomach. She went down to the kitchen to find something to eat but instead found her parents present in the kitchen, drinking their afternoon tea. Diana froze at the threshold, holding her breath. Perhaps waiting for some kind of reprimand. They stayed silent.  
She walked past them to make herself a sandwich. Diana tried to be quiet, but she wasn’t sure why. It felt like a sound, even a little one, would maybe be the spark to a raging fire. What kind of fire, she didn’t know, nor did she want to find out. Mr. and Mrs. Barry stayed silent, not even acknowledging their daughter’s presence.

When Diana was about to leave the kitchen her father called after her.  
“Wait for just a second, dear.” Mr. Barry said with a sugary sweet voice Diana didn’t recognise. “There’s something we have to tell you.”  
Diana turned around at the door. Her father stirred his tea, with an insecure but big smile plastered on his face. Her mother was knitting, focused on her work which laid in her knee. Neither made eye contact.  
“We’re… We’re sending you away.” Mr. Barry continued.  
Diana’s mouth fell open. “What?”  
She looked at her mother, hoping for an explanation. Mrs. Barry was busy with her knitting.  
“What do you mean?”  
Mr. Barry took a long sip of his tea.  
“Well, there’s this special school in France…”  
“In France!” Diana interrupted. “But…”  
“In France,” Mr. Barry repeated, speaking over Diana. “that helps people with, well, that illness of yours.”  
Diana’s heart sank.  
“But, but father, please..!”  
Mr. Barry rose, and finally met Diana’s eyes. His stare made Diana feel small.  
“This isn’t our daughter.” He announced confidently. “We know our Diana, and she’s not like that.”  
Diana didn’t know what to say. She turned to her mother, trying to find comfort, help.  
”He’s right Diana.” Mrs. Barry said instead. ”This isn’t you! But don’t worry honey, they’ll fix you! Before you know it, you’ll be back. And everything will go back to normal.”  
Now it was Diana who avoided eye contact.  
Go back to normal. A few days ago, maybe even a few hours ago, she would have done anything to be normal. But now, she didn’t know. She didn’t feel good about this.  
”You’ll leave in two weeks.”  
Those were Mr. Barry’s final words.

The following two weeks Diana spent in her room. Her parents were busy with the work of Diana changing school, something Diana was not a part of. During this time, many thoughts travelled Diana’s mind. Hopeless, cruel voices had taken over. They kept yelling, and Diana kept listening. Until one day, when the voices silenced.

There was nothing left to say.

Diana sat up in her bed. She realised that she had been afraid all this time. Of her feelings, and of what others thought of her. She was afraid that they would be cruel, but now Diana realised something - no one could be more cruel to Diana than Diana had been to herself these last weeks. This enemy she had built up in everyone else was actually living inside her. Right now, the thought that scared her the most was going to that school. To be fixed.  
Fixed.  
The bare thought made Diana shiver, though she wasn’t sure why. She just didn’t like it, not one bit.

Diana suddenly remembered Aunt Josephine. She remembered Aunt Gertrude, and the people at the soiree, who were like her. And she remembered Anne, and Cole, who hadn’t seemed to care. Aunt Josephine had not only been like Diana, but she had been proud. Would liking girls really be that bad? If yes, why? It was just love, after all. If Diana was happy with a girl, shouldn’t the people who loved her be happy for her?  
Diana suddenly felt sad. Not because of Anne, or because of the school in France, or because she liked girls. But because there was so much hate in this world, in its people. It would be easier to love, one would think.  
With these thoughts, Diana found hope. If she only could find someone like her, someone that would mane Diana happy and forget all about the ideas of her being wrong… Then what would be the problem? Diana couldn’t imagine how her relationship would affect others. If she simply could find comfort in loving a woman, and if she could surround herself with people who didn’t care as long as Diana was happy, she could find peace.

In this moment, Diana found acceptance. She still had a long way to go, but she finally could see a road ahead of her where she would end up being okay, being worthy of love. Even if she liked girls. She felt like she could be safe, if she only surrounded herself with the right people. This lit a spark in Diana, a spark of hope. Ideas were born in her head: maybe she could live with Aunt Josephone, pr get over Anne but run off with her and they could live together as kindred spirits with their soulmates…  
Even though none of the ideas stopped Diana’s parents’ determinations to send her off to that school, they gave Diana hope. They helped her, she didn’t want to give up anymore. Diana had always taken the easy way, accepting the road everyone else had expected of her. Now she understood that there were things that were worth the trouble. She was prepared to fight.


	9. Goodbyes

It was a busy day in the town centre of Avonlea. Stores and sidewalks were filled with people in different errands, who struggled their way forwards on the ground which was muddy and slippery from yesterday’s heavy rain. This day was dry, the sky had no tears left to cry. Though you could sense the humidity rain leaves behind itself.  
Carriages pulled by horses occupied the road, and in one of those carriages sat Diana. She was on her way to the station to catch a train, a train that would take her to a harbour where a boat waited to set course to France.  
Her parents had stiffly said goodbye at their house, so Diana was on her own from here. She didn’t mind, her parents wouldn’t have made much company anyways. They hadn’t spoken much at all since that day in the kitchen when Diana had learned about her new school. Diana hadn’t spoken much to anyone really.  
Some, like Ms Stacy, Ruby and most of the girls, had come by the Barry’s house to say goodbye. However they never got to meet Diana - it was Mrs. and Mr. Barry who had thanked them, who had explained that Diana wasn’t too well and that they would pass on their messages. They never did, but Diana (having nothing much to do) sat by her window and eavesdropped from her room (if you can call it eavesdrop when the message is meant for you).  
The Cuthberts had also paid a visit, but Diana didn’t know if Anne had joined them. As soon as she recognised Marilla and Matthew she had left her window, remembering something - suddenly very urgent - that she had to do.

Diana was left at the station. She took her bag and thanked the coachman before she walked to the station. At the counter, Diana showed her ticket to a man who nodded slightly at it before he gave it back to her. Now all she could do was wait.  
She thought she might as well wait for the train to leave on the train than on the station, but as she was about to get on the train she heard a familiar voice yelling her name:  
”Diana, wait!”  
Diana stopped and turned, but she had also recognised the voice.  
It was Anne.

She walked slowly towards Anne. They stood there, silent. After having forbidden herself to do it for the past few months, Diana allowed herself to look at Anne. Her red hair was caught up in its usual two, neat braids. They reached down to her chest now. Perhaps her blue eyes, that were framed by a freckled face, looked a little sadder than they used to. Other than that, she was her usual bright self. Diana smiled.  
”I, I wanted to say goodbye.” Anne finally broke the silence.  
Diana just nodded, still smiling. Anne studied her friend. She hesitated before she spoke again:  
”Why didn’t you tell me?”  
Diana opened her mouth, but didn’t say anything. What would she say? She also suspected that Anne knew. Sometimes we ask questions we already know the answer to.   
Diana hesitated, before she leaned in and gave Anne an innocent kiss on her cheek.  
”I’m sorry.” Diana felt her cheeks grow hot.  
Anne chuckled happily. ”What for?”  
Diana laughed with her. Had she just kissed Anne?  
”Oh, I almost forgot!” Anne exclaimed, beginning to dig in her pockets. She took out a package, neatly wrapped in old newspapers, tied in place by a simple string. It wasn’t fancy at all, but it was so very Anne. Diana smiled at the thought.  
”Here,” Anne said as she gave Diana the present. ”But don’t open it until you’re on the train!”  
Diana took the gift and studied it. It was heavy, and rectangular shaped. She weighed it in her hands.  
”Something to remember me by.” Anne added, with a small and slightly insecure laugh.  
Diana looked up.  
”Oh Anne,” she said, suddenly serious. ”I could never forget you.”  
Tears started rolling down Anne’s fair, freckled cheeks. She pulled Duana in a desperate hug.  
”It’s so unfair.” Anne cried. ”I’ll miss you Diana. So very, very much.”  
Now Diana was crying too, silent tears painting her cheeks. ”I’ll miss you too Anne.”  
Anne pulled away. ”You were my first ever friend, and I can’t imagine ever having a better one than thee.” She wiped away a tear from her face. ”I’m so incredibly grateful, you can’t imagine.”  
”I can.” Diana smiled.  
”I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more.” Anne suddenly said, clearly disheartened.  
”That’s okay.” Diana said, surprising herself by feeling she told the truth. ”It’s not your fault.”  
”But you’ll find someone.” Anne smiled, knocking lightly on the package Diana held in her hands. ”And I’m sure it’ll be worth the trouble.”  
Diana laughed, of relief. All the anxiety, grief, insecurity and hopelessness she’d felt this past few months suddenly felt more distant. It was like the weight that had pulled Diana down now eased. Anne was by her side, helping her hold it. Diana didn’t feel as sad anymore, about everything with Anne. She’d got to do a lot of thinking, and it made her realise that the thing that had saddened her the most was that she and Anne had become so distant. She hoped, in her heart, that they one day could go back to that.  
”Thank you,” Diana said. ”For everything.”  
Anne smiled.  
”Goodbye for now,” She said. ”I’m certain we’ll meet again.”  
Diana smiled too. ”I hope so.”  
”I know so Diana.” She leaned in then. ”They can never take away your hope.”  
The train’s whistle blew, telling Diana it was tile to leave. She felt her stomach tighten, but Anne grabbed her hand and everything felt a little easier. They shared one last hug before Diana went on the train. She waved goodbye to Anne, who waited at the station until the train left, and found her seat.

The whistle blew one last time, as the train slowly began to move. It left the station, quickly picking up a fast pace. Diana cried silently, but right now she felt more happy than sad.  
She looked down at the present from Anne, and opened it.  
It was a book.  
Diana recognised it but couldn’t quite place it. Opening the book, she found a written message on the first page:

“To my Gertrude.  
Someone will remember us, I say,  
even in another time.  
Forever, you have my heart.  
Jo”

Underneath it someone had added a message, recently written:

”To my bosom friend  
and kindred spirit, Diana Barry.  
You have my heart forever as well. Don’t let them kill your lovely spirit.  
Anne”

Diana felt herself tearing up again. A woman seated nearby checked on her to see if she was okay. Diana assured her that they were happy tears.

The train pulled the breaks, making a sudden and harsh stop. People flew forward in their seats, and some luggage fell onto the floor.  
Diana looked out the window. It didn’t look like there was a stop anywhere nearby. Everyone started muttering, wondering what had happened. Some people opened the door to go out and see what the problem was. Out of curiosity, Diana followed.  
”There’s a horse in the way!” Someone yelled out and pointed towards the front of the train.  
Diana was standing on her toes trying to see over the crowd. Her heart jumped in her chest. She recognised the horse, it belonged to—  
”I’m sorry, gentlemen and gentlewomen! That’s my horse.”  
Everyone turned their heads, Diana as well. Aunt Josephine, tall as ever, stood before the crowd, looking smug.  
”I lost control of it and it just ran.” Aunt Josephine said, widening her eyes dramatically as she innocently shrugged her shoulders.  
”Well, get it away from the tracks!” A man from the crowd yelled, clearly irritated. ”It’s stopping our train!”  
”Pity.” She said, looking down at Diana with a sly smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of this story. It's been a fun experience working with it, and of course sharing it with you. So thank you for reading, I hope you found it a pleasant experience!


End file.
